To words, for words

You know the feeling when you keep looking at a word long enough that it ceases to mean anything at all. I dont know if there is a word for that. I dont even know if it is an experience that others have. Do they?

-----

Words that made me think in the past week:

Melancholy - People often mistake melancholy with sadness. But it is seldom so. True sadness necessarily has a worldly reason. On the contrary (at least as far as I understand), melancholy involves a feeling of disenchantment and non-attachment. Its is not rejection of but rather not wanting to be involved with the surroundings. In my opinion very poetic and one of the more mature emotions. Is there any Hindi word for it?

Synecdoche - That along with antithesis started my journey on figures of speech. I wish I could take that class again. I forgot the context of my recent encounter with this word. But somehow it is stuck in my head. How do I get it out?

Post truth world - I dont even want to talk about it. The phenomena is just sad and the fact that this is a thing is truly depressing.

-----

For a long long time I had confused foreword with forward.

-----

Are we moving? It feels like we are going to. Gosh, being a grown up is hard.

I cant believe its May already !

It is almost 2 months since the beginning of the lockdown. Things are supposed to be coming back to normal but I dont see how.

If this is going to be the new normal, as a society we will have to learn new ways to be normal. This will require tremendous effort on the part of businesses, policy makers, politicians, law enforcement and above all - the people. Everybody will have to collectively decide to set aside their individual greed to be able to function as a collective. Because, as we have just discovered, individual health is a function affected by several collective (!!) parameters.
---------

There is a lot of uproar from people from all over the globe to ease the lockdown, to let them be. I am not talking here about the people hit by economic hardship. I am talking about well to do people who are bored in the confines of their homes. And although I do not agree with them, I understand their plight. Human beings are supposed to be social animals. In-person complex social interactions are what set us apart from rest of the animal world. You know there are studies which say that we developed such a large brain just to be able to have conversations. Solitary confinement is considered to be the harshest (non capital) punishment.
Hence the argument that such impositions are not humane may be true to some extent. But then, every mistake asks for repentance. We have erred as a society, we pay the price as a society. It is as simple as that.

---------

So far all my cucumber flowers have been male. :(

Since there was no chance of having a fruit, I made the most of the situation. Which was dipping them in batter and deep frying ;) Yummy.

---------

There is a report which I hate. I hate it that I have to work on it and finalize it and get it approved. I hate everything about it. But I still have to do it. This is life, this is what being an adult is all about. Being able to work on things while hating them.
I miss being young and stupid enough to believe otherwise.

--------

Of cucumbers and corona

My cucumbers have flowered, so has the bhindi (okra). The cucumber flowers are all male till now. But I am hopeful. If nothing else, I will make pakoras out of the flowers.

I want to live in a small house, with a backyard where I can grow whatever I want to.
----

The uncertainty has begun to bother me. I know its wishful thinking, but I hope someone just knew when the world would become normal again.

----

I used to shield the boys from Shin Chan because I thought it would be bad influence. Now I want them to watch it because I think it would be a good one :|

----

I understand conspiracy theorists a little letter now.

Rants of the frustrated kind

Isolation has never bothered me. Most of my topmost fantasies involve having a quiet quaint life in a mountain cabin, a farm with a big yellow barn, a small village on an island(this one comes from the Country of the Pointed Firs). I actively envy people who homestead successfully. So I am quite okay with being isolated now as well.

But its the larger scenario which is worrisome. Many people are dying, many more are suffering out of fear. Fear of the virus, fear of joblessness, fear of poverty. A society made up of people who are afraid cannot function properly. Even when the restrictions are lifted, the gloom shall remain. And this is a realization that is slowly dawning on us.

I am a little angry and mostly just sad that we have brought this calamity onto ourselves. The root cause of such wide spread of the disease is greed. Hear me out-

There have been far more deadlier contagious diseases in the past, killing a larger fraction of people. But, the spread was usually limited to a province, country or continent. Never ever has it touched everyone. We (or rather the social, political and economic forces of the world) have allowed this disease to fester because it originated in you-know-where. Had such a disease originated in a smaller, less financially strong country (pick any one of the smaller poorer south east Asian or Latin american countries of your choice), that country would have been properly cordoned off by all other countries right in January. Boycotted, borders sealed, maybe nuked.. Believe it or not, but this pandemic is a direct result of globalization and centralized mega mass production of cheap non-essentials.

Stop blaming the food habits of certain people. That is not a new phenomena. Those people were eating anything that moves for centuries. Its the spread which is new.

I also understand that there is nothing that will be done about it. Nobody is going to stop buying stuff that they dont need. Nobody is going to shun manufacturers who produce cheap goods because they can afford to keep their workers starving. Nothing will change.

Sorry.

About the plants

I guess I have mentioned the fate of my Bhindi(Okra) saplings before.

Miraculously, 3 of them have survived.  Even more surprising is that they have sprouted buds. The saplings are tiny, and yet they have sprouted buds. I dont think you can see them in the pic.

Meanwhile, I have succulent sprouts, lots of cucumber and a rogue date palm peeking through. Little V has also planted a potato.

I had pruned the mogra and the curry plant rather mercilessly, but they seem to be thriving nonetheless.

I noticed some aphids yesterday. I plan on using neem oil this time to get rid of them. Shall post about the effects.

Quarantine day 14

We have gotten used to the new "normal" now. Things are great as long as I dont switch on the news. Because then it is horrible. For once, I want to live in a bubble. I know its stupid and immature, but here I am.
Uncertainty does not suit me.
------

I need to be more inward looking, practice what i preach.

------

Surprisingly enough, house work does not seem like a burden at all. I actually like cooking all meals, planning and prepping. It is satisfying for now.

------

I pray to God, please set things right. Please grant us maturity to see where we went wrong and strength to do what needs to be done.

WFH

Day 3 of the Quarantine:

My younger son is singing - "Buttery Butt, butt, butt, butt" -over and over at the top of his lungs from the balcony.

The boys have also drowned my cucumber saplings.