Writing makes me feel so self aware about everything. As long as I am not penning it down, I dont have to face my decisions. It happens with everyone I suppose. We only evaluate our actions and lives when we talk to someone about it. It might very well be a conversation with yourself. I have also found myself lying to myself. More often than i would like to admit. But that is a different tangent altogether.
Lately my work has required me to write about stuff. Things that were practiced since long. Its only when I started putting it down on paper did the gaps in the process become evident. Its a tiresome job. But it has also made me more prone to evaluating everything.
Truth and lies, right and wrong, good and evil, these are all evaluations. These evaluations are based on circumstances. And circumstances change. However, most of us, do not change our believes. And we feel right in doing so. Upto a certain extent it is also a desirable attribute in human being. We would be shallow without strong believes. In the same time, rigidness and failure to see the merits in opposition is a gross weakness. My wish for this year is to be able to strike a balance between these two.
My wish number two is to be able to be 'disagreeable' at work. I am done with being nice all the time.
