On walking

The reason I don’t post much these days is that because out of my old habit of keeping a journal, I love writing about the day at the end of the day. Writing for me is a kind of reminiscing about the day. In a way, it is a form of time travel back to the day past where I cant change anything. But yes, it helps me make meaning out of the happenings. It’s like living the day again, enjoying the conversations one more time. Only this time in my head.

But now the definition of my “day” stretches itself to the end of socially acceptable waking hours and occasionally spills beyond midnight. By that time I am too exhausted/ zombified to walk to the bed, let alone turn on the laptop and write something. (yeah I don’t like writing on ipad or my phone. Both devices very easy to waste time on but very difficult to get anything productive done)

Anyways, so most of my reminiscing now happens during the “walk”. The half hour window I have been sanctioned after we are done with everybody’s dinner. K graciously stays home with the kids while I don up my walking shoes, gear up with some music and go for a stroll. That is the part of my day when it is ok for me to not be attentive about the surroundings (not many cars on road at night and the colony is pretty safe) and daydream.

So now my blogging /journaling/ walking has all merged into one. Its just not recorded anymore.

Throwback thursday

Let the rain come down 
   and wash away my fears
let it fill my soul 
   and drown my fears
let it shatter the walls 
   for a new Sun
A new day has come

 - Aldo Nova and Stephen Moccio, from Celine Dion's song - A new day has come

Music to the rescue

"Summer is here."

The Game of Thorns is full on in Gurgaon this year. Gusts of dust (alliteration much ??) greet us as soon as we step outside.

Anyways, so today while driving back to work I was kind of aware of the heat outside. But then this song came on radio - "Rim jhim gire sawan..."

Lovely song. And it reminded that the heat is here for a reason. It paves the way for monsoon. And then I didnt feel the heat anymore.

The country of the pointed firs

I firmly believe that one should travel as far and wide as possible, see and experience different cultures, people, enjoy their food, walk their streets, view their views, feel their weather, climb their hills. And it might just make one more grounded and broad minded. 

Now although I love to travel, lately our sojourns have become more of a luxury snooty(!!) vacation kind. We hardly meet up and interact with the locals. Kids are kept away from heat and dust and any kind of discomfort. Phew.. a few more years till they are grown up enough.

Till then, I plan to travel by the way of books. Reading always brings me joy. Now and then I pick up a book which is so delicious (for lack of a better word) that I want to gobble it all up in one go. And then ask for a second serving. 

But sometimes, I come across the rare gems which are to be savored slowly. Each bite enjoyable on its own. Pausing between pages, living it. One such gem is The country of the Pointed Firs. The book effortlessly took me to the quaint coastal village. Such beautiful character defining that I felt I have known them for ages. The book feels like a lazy summer afternoon after having beautiful lunch. Not much happening, nothing important to do. Just being content with the present.

I highly recommend this book to anyone who feels the need to slow down a bit. I know I am going to go back to it again and again. Just to induce some calmness. And to learn to pause.

Rant 2 of the day

A couple of hours and two bars of dark chocolate later my mood has perked up somewhat.
Well this and Ksh. Its amazing what a big difference words can make. Just loving and supportive words.
Gosh :)
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Little Tanmay is about to start proper school on Monday. It is both exciting and scary. For me I mean. Tanmay is all happy to go to "the school with the big playground". Its me who is jittery. I wonder if we ever stop being scared for our kids.
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I am going to be better. Become more knowledgeable and improve my skills. I just have to figure out where and in which field I want to excel. hmmm... Does a skill which doesnt really pay, count?

Damn

There are days when the smallest tiniest troubles make me question my life choices.
Today is one of those wretched days.

And no, nothing is wrong per se. But if I think about it, so much is. What am I doing with my life? What use is all the money if the one thing my kids need is me?

Damn

What if stories

The other day i just got thinking how different would all my favorite fiction stories would be if they are forced to incorporate basic technologies in their stories. No secret would remain unearthed for a decade, no person would be able to vanish "without a trace", people would not be forced to travel across geographies to meet/contact their long lost loves and relations. Even the magical world of Harry Potter ( !! ) would lose some if its charm if Voldemort had a nuclear bomb. 

I guess it is difficult to write and compose a stories set in the modern world. Is that why so many of the fiction we see now is based on emotions and relationships ? 

I feel too lazy to do this

The trouble with procrastination is that it reduces your output tremendously. Especially people like me with crap memories. I remember having a wonderful idea to blog about. That’s all I remember, I don’t remember the actual idea, just that it was good. Gosh I sound like a certain world leader. Crappier than my memory. Eww.

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I am trying to read better. So far I have managed to do at least one serious article everyday. I am also trying to watch better. Lets see how that goes.

Remembering worldspace

I usually listen to the radio while driving.
I like the "wait" part in radio. You never know if a good song is coming next. But you still wait for it and endure the mindless advertisements just to get to a good song. I enjoy that.

So today morning this song reminded me of worldspace. I dont know if people still know what it was. It was awesome. Great. And the brief period while I was able to enjoy it was so lovely.

Sons and Noses

Wonderful sunshiny days. Perfect picnic weather. And we are trying to make the most of it.

Now that Vedu has started walking, I have developed two mental radars. Both kids have to be tracked ALL THE TIME. They have an uncanny knack for getting into trouble. Little Vedu hasnt started talking yet, but he has perfected a way to mock me when I shout "No, dont do that."

It's hilarious actually.
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My resolve to get more disciplined has worked a bit. I have started logging (Journal) and slogging (workout)
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I need some new music. Like good music. I dont have the patience to listen to VH1 for hours anymore. I am yet to start on soundcloud (sorry :| )
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Both kids are down with the flu. Hence the title :(

Buy less, buy better

Lately I have been getting enticed by the idea of minimalism. Its not a new concept, not a fad, not something I am going to give up on. I have felt the necessity to reduce for a long time now.

What really triggered this need to change was that I dont feel in touch with myself anymore. Many years ago in MDI I first read that book - The Secret. And I remember thinking - whats the secret. That has always happened with me before, I can make things happen by thinking and wishing. I could literally do that.
But not anymore. And I know that it is because there is too much clutter everywhere. Around me, inside me.
And I am going to change that.

And hence the title.

There will be fries

I am thankful to God for all we have. For watching over us and our loved ones. I am, I truly am.

I have two plants on my desk. Hydroponics both of them. The older one has been with me since 5 years i guess. I love you guys. Keep growing and stay green. Make oxygen and stay happy.

So we are having a party of sorts at home tomorrow. A kids friendly party. Hence the title.

I know I am a little old for this now, but I really love my new shoes. :) Complete with pink bows. Never too old for a little "cute" in life right. Gotta keep it up. The onus of having pink and fluffy stuff in a house full of boys is on me.

Chipping tales

I usually credit myself with above average intelligence ( yeah.. and not so much modesty)
Anyways,, it seems I should review my rankings.

So yesterday, I was feeling peckish (even after gobbling down two eggs btw) in the evening so naturally I gravitated towards the only bag of chips left. Now since I am trying to eat healthier, I was very much aware that I should instead pick up the sad looking apple instead. This tremendous inner conflict must have had an effect.

As a result I gobbled down the chips at a record speed lest I change my mind and reach for the apple instead.

So much for the intelligence :|

Being nice is always rewarding

You know there are people who are always making lists. Not only super important difficult to remember stuff, just ordinary everyday things. And then they annoy you by listing the merits of making lists. 

I have turned into one of those people. So list making - love it :)

Striking things off the list - absolutely 

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Cannot stop worrying about my plants. Who will water them while we are gone? (wow! alliteration) 

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Obsessed about painting cherry blossoms in water color. So satisfying. And difficult to get it wrong. Looks pretty anyways.

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Painted walls. Another thing checked from my (slightly longish) ToDo list.

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want to learn something new. Cant decide on what. Or how. Or when. But I want to.

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Have to get back in shape. Need to get more discipline in life.

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Another year almost gone.

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Yes I know the title has nothing to do with this post. Its just another truth.

Whoa

Answering to kids questions can be hard. For example, “Mumma, why is the sky blue?” is a pretty difficult question to answer. However, thanks to pollution, it is pretty easy to answer why the sky is grey. K

These days our lives are dictated by two little tyrants. Well not tyrants really, since we actually truly enjoy being dictated. If you ask me, time is passing a little too fast. Little V is already about to turn 10 months old. 

And it has already been about one whole year since I last blogged :O 

A good day

I have spent the past few months (ever since Diwali actually) hating the weather and the pollution. It has turned me a little bitter towards Gurgaon overall. But yesterday, oh yesterday the weather redeemed itself (lol).

Beautiful skies, sun, clear crisp early winter air. A perfect day for picnic. Tanmay was so happy with the “picmic”. Its really cute watching him learn to talk. He isn’t the most talkative toddler but kind of makes it up with his cuteness. Inadvertently all of us have started speaking like him.

And although my resolve to turn into some kind of cooking goddess hasn’t really materialized in the way I wanted, I have improved quite a bit. Managed to make pickles, yay !! The old me would have posted pictures but I am just too lazy to do so. So believe me when I say I did it.

I know things are about to change soon. For all of us. I cant imagine how the chemistry will be. But I pray to God that things go well.

Amen.

Proud Parent Moments

Kids make us proud everyday. Everything they do is special. And its wonderful watching them grow curious and ready to explore everything (everything!!) they see.

But sometimes, some things they do or say are striking.

The other day, I had an appointment and went to my doctor, who happens to be a very amiable lady :). We generally take him along and put him in the play area while I go for the consultation. But since it was exceptionally sunny, we decided to take him along inside with us. First of all he inquired - "Hospital ? Injection?" After assuring that no injections would be administered to anyone, he calmed down and happily played in the waiting area. But the moment we went inside the consultation room, oh dear God! The moment he saw her, he just started chanting "Doctor na, doctor na..." . Poor Ksh had to take him outside lol..

I didnt really think a lot about it then. But later on I reflected that he had never seen any doctor other than his own pediatrician (a male) and the doctor in nursery rhymes (from five little monkeys). So he had never really seen a woman doctor before. He just deduced that the person sitting behind the table in a hospital has to be a doctor, regardless of the gender.

Looks like kids dont abide by gender stereotypes  :)

Toddler tales

Before I had my son, i kind of used to judge people who let their kids scribble on the walls.
I feel really really sorry now.
Kids have that effect, they humble you. Tremendously.

My child does a lot of stuff I never thought would happen under my roof.
He eats only with the television on, refuses to poop without a diaper (! really !), scribbles on the walls, even throws an occasional tantrum or two. Of yes, and he also believes in is a staunch supporter of the nudist movement. Doesnt wear pants at home at all (diapers only when he wants to poop). Thank God he wears one at playschool. However, he compensates that by taking off his shirt as well as soon as he is home.
Before I had him, I had never imagined my home would look like a storehouse (child proof storehouse). It is now really spartan with the bare minimum of furniture left. The show cases which held my precious book collection and cherished knick knacks have now been boarded up (he climbs on them). The lower kitchen shelves have been evacuated and the counter rims are oiled (climbs there as well). Our bedroom has a 12 feet wide bed ! The only concerns we have anymore are safety and hygiene.

But yes, I know that one day, when the kids are all grown up, the walls will be clean, sofas wonts be spilled upon or jumped upon, our plants would survive without being routinely uprooted.

And I will miss these days.

Detoxing

So my tiny little humble terrace garden is in full bloom this season. After successive unsuccessful attempts to grow lemons and oranges I gave up and went the herbs, shrubs and creepers way :).

Tomatoes were a success. And so seems the karela. I never knew before that fresh karela flowers give off a very very sweet smell. Kind of like jasmine. But only before the sun comes up.

My medically prescribed month long "bed rest" is coming to an end. This has been a blessing in disguise really. Turns out that it takes me a week to get rid of "work thoughts" from my subconscious. And really lately I have been feeling so "light". Its refreshing. I am able to think of new stuff which is awesome. And most importantly I got to spend more time with tanmay :)

Read some good books lately - A Gathering Light, Return of the Dance Master, Up and Down in the Dales and Sita. Oh yes, and a childhood favorite - The little House in the big woods. 

Fingers crossed for tomorrow.

Confessions

My energy levels have plummeted lately.
And I hate it. I hate to talk about it and think about it.

Maybe I should start meditation. That should help.
I have to get back in sync with myself.

:)

A much awaited "long weekend" came and went. And it went surprisingly well. 

So here is a list of stuff taken care of during this weekend:

1. Indulging in something constructive - started a wood work project. It is going pretty well so far.

2. Clean and declutter - managed to clean unsightly grime from the corners of marble floors. What worked in the end was sheer brute force, i sanded them off with some fine sand paper :)

3. Get a pretty thing for the house - a beautiful lamp shade. Wall mounted of course, because nothing is safe within a height of 3 feet anymore.

4. Take care of greens - worked some more on our "kitchen garden" in the balcony. Proud to say that our mint and tomatoes are doing just fine thank you very much.

5. Go social - managed to meet three different sets of friends. I guess we should do this one a little more often.

6. Be happy - ohh yes. :) four whole days with T and K made me very very happy indeed.

And T loved his new "gaaadi". So did we. Touchwood.  

"People change."
This is not just something Dr.House loves to remind us.
It also appears to be true.

A Creationist Evolution

There is an age long debate (since Darvin I mean) between proponents of Evolution (boring scientists who have devoted a sizable chunk of their lives immersed in research studies) and Creationists (mostly people appalled at scientific “theories” based on facts and logic). From what I could gather, the two teams feel that both their ideas are mutually exclusive with no room for overlap. And that is something I don’t understand. As I see it, evolution is the proof that God exists. Here are some of the scenarios that could have happened:

a)      God created the universe (or “our” universe in the multiverse system) as his high school’s summer project. Being a “teenager”, He was very busy partying and enjoying the summer and started working on the project a little late, only about a few trillion years before the submission date. By the time He eventually started working on Earth, the project was already past its due date. Understandably, He didn’t have enough time to make everything Himself. So he just put Earth on “autopilot”, which is to say that he arranged for all the right ingredients and kick started the system so that “Evolution” would do the rest. Then He promptly went back to party with His friends.

b)      As God started working on the Earth project He got called away by His wife who wanted Him to work on another project for Her. Now He didn’t want to face Her wrath and couldn’t say no. Eventually the still unfinished and abandoned “Earth Project” caught “mold” – starting with green slimy stuff, small wriggly worms and eventually crawly insects walking on two legs who infested the entire project and tended to turn everything to scum.

c)      God planned the Earth Project as a part of his large real estate empire The Multiverse. Now He had a lot of things to handle and couldn’t be bothered with every little detail. So He delegated the Earth Project to his junior manager who in turn delegated it to one of the interns and assigned her a project lead. Understandably, the intern had absolutely no work experience and the project lead had absolutely no interest in the project. But she hoped to impress her bosses so she started on the project from day one. She did what she could but it was never good enough for her bosses who kept asking her to change little details at every standup meeting. He kept giving her offhand instructions like, “Make the wriggly creatures get out of the water and live on land”. “But why, they are perfectly happy in the water?”, she would say. “Just do what you are asked to do. Remember that you are just an intern”. And she did what she was sked to do.

She had begun with a simple beautiful plan involving simple self-sufficient creatures, but by the time the project ended it had transformed into a monstrosity due to her boss’ numerous modifications. After her internship ended, she eventually got a job offer but declined it and opened her own little cupcake shop right across the street.

longer days = more fun

Addicted to tea - sweet, gingery, low milk tea :) 

Loving the wonderful beautiful colors promising a lovely spring. Spotted a bunch of poppies tucked in a corner at a busy traffic intersection. Lovely.

Bubs new favorite activity is driving the "gaaai". And mine is watching him drive the "gaaai" of course.

The kitchen garden tomatoes are coming out fine. Funnily enough, the ones planted in non-fertilized soil are doing much better. Same goes for the Coriander and Mint. Bubs has finally learnt not to uproot mommy's precious plants. His another favorite activity - playing with the "mitii". However, cleaning the mess afterwards does not make it to my list of favorite activities. 

And yes, we are gearing up for the next vacation. Fingers crossed.

A day at the park

After a long long and seemingly unending winter, we finally got to spend a lovely sunny day at the park.
It was so refreshing and peaceful to be near the grass, the yellow little chirping birds, lovely yellow flowers growing among the weed and the carefully tended and manicured roses - everything. It was just perfect.

And I was thrilled to see bubs love it too. Sometimes I feel guilty for making him grow up in a city. He was so happy chasing squirrels and collecting interesting looking leaves and stones.

Anyways, on another note, I decided to get back to sketching and bought a new sketchbook only to have it hijacked by bubs. He has already filled up half of the pages with his signatures. Do I love it ? Absolutely :)

Counting blessings

For a while now I have felt a growing distance between God and me.. like the connection has faded a little bit. It is not as though the faith has declined. No, my belief in Him is strong as ever. But the distance has increased, kind of what happens if you dont talk to your best friend for a while. As far as you know, they dont have an idea whats going on in your life. And yes, it makes me very sad.
As I said, I have been wondering about the reason behind this. It may be because I dont take time to "stop and smell the roses" anymore, dont contemplate so often, or may be because of increased awareness of all the evil around us. Yes it makes me very sad indeed.

And this is one of the reasons why I have decided to focus on all the positive energy around. Think of good things, live a simpler non cluttered life, reach out more.

And yes, I know You look after my family and me.
I am thankful for all our blessings.

सर्वे भवंतु सुखिन:, सर्वे संतु निरामया।

सर्वे भद्राणि पश्यंतु , मा कश्चिद दु:ख भाग्भवेत ॥

Say hello to the new year

Let me begin the new year's first post with a prayer - Dear God, please make the people less angry, less violent. Give them the ability to believe in good, be good themselves and do good to others.

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Started watching movies again. Just finished True Detective by HBO. Its brilliantly made, has some absolutely fantastic acting in a very gory and somewhat shaky storyline. 
Next was I Origins. Good story, good natural acting with no actor trying to become bigger than the movie itself. 

One feeling that keeps coming back to me these days is disgust - for this whole consumerist attitude engulfing the society. Even more terrifying is the ease with which this is happening. 

huh... this calls for an addendum to my prayer - Dear God, please give us enough wisdom and strength to resist the charms of unnecessary spending. 

Something else

So here it is, instead of doing things from my ToDo list, these two boxes happened.
Or as i want to call them  dump-all-mess-hiding-boxes :).

Things to do this week

In my spare time this week (lol) I wish to complete the following:

- prep tomato seeds for planting (doable)
- plant mustard for mustard greens (doable)
- DIY seat covers with fasteners for the wicker chairs (def. doable and is fun fun)
- Make another kurta for bubs? ( ? do I need to buy fabric? thread)
- figure out what to pair the yellow-orange kurta with (perhaps doable. Might need to visit market)

I hope posting the TD list on the internet will make a difference and for a change I will actually finish off everything on the list.

Will post results at the end of the week.

Love & Music

The truly gifted one among us have the power to move us with their music. 

For us lesser souls though, being able to appreciate music is good enough.

Appreciation for music is not a learned behavior. It is inherent, inborn. Some unfortunates do happen to lose this ability as they grow, because of one reason or other. 

May God bless them. 

The (not so) Jaunty Saunter of Monty Panther

Once upon a time there was a little baby panther named Monty. Monty was a good baby who loved to play with his father - papa panther and mother - mama panther.

One bright Sunday morning papa panther had a brilliant idea. He said, “Monty, let’s go for an adventure”. So they went to the local café and tried to order a cappuccino. Like all adventures go, this was pretty difficult. Understandably, it is indeed difficult to hold the attention of the barista when he is shaking so hard with fear. And then, the adventure proved particularly challenging for Monty and his father because they did not know how to speak English. All they managed were a few growls, which were mistaken as a prelude to pouncing by the barista (as well as a few customers). One gentleman started making very weird noises. All this hullabaloo started making Monty very upset.

Disheartened, Monty and his father came back and had a hot chocolate at home. It was not a very jaunty day. 

And caffeine is not really recommended for kids anyway.

Not about ants

When I was young (younger??) we used to read. And by "we", i mean everybody, all the children. Even the non-studious ones had a collection of comics (case in point - my hubs. And if "T" is all grown up and is reading this blog, "beta, your father loves books. Bahut padhai karte the school mein. Aur college mein bhi. Sacchi.") My point is books were a very important part of our childhood. I wish my baby to fall in love with books too. Its a very rewarding relationship.

Ants

Have you ever observed ants ? 

They are always in hurry. Always going somewhere, carrying something too large and heavy. Scurrying along in a line, following orders, following each other. 

It is mesmerizing no doubt. But after a while my curiosity turns into some kind of pity. Although it is wonderful to see them being a part of something much much bigger than each one of them. But also seems sad to wonder that these ants spend their whole lives not enjoying the fruits of their labour. Well in a way they do, like they remain safe from predators and such. But yet, working incessantly is all they do while being safe.

Is that what we do? Does the Big one see us from above and wonder why we spend our lives working like the ants? They say life has never been easier for mankind with fewer wars, better medical science and such. But is it? 

Do ants have such thoughts too? 

Lets make pigs fly,

yeah! I am working on the sly

:D

Toddle tales

Time flies.

Our little baby is officially a toddler :D
Now that he has mastered the art of walking, our days are spent playing an endless game of hide and seek. Its a game neither party gets tired of. He has also discovered that he can open and close stuff. So boxes of all sizes and shapes, tubes and water bottles have become the toy of the week. His preferences keep changing. Last week was bang everything together week. The week before that was lets-hit-papa-with-this-thingie week :)

Earlier, we had thought of recording his every action, taking snaps everyday, making a note of his every new development. Well, this particular resolve of ours has somehow slipped down in the priority list. So many cameras in the house, and yet we resort to the handy camera phones. :) Just as well.

Touchwood.

Oh Joy !

Life has never been so much like a roller coaster ride. We are no longer masters of our lives, with the controls in the hands of a baby so eager to be a toddler. No amount of books or well meaning advises could prepare us for the antics of our naughty minion. Most of the times it is endearing to watch him. But other times it is a pain to see him refusing to eat food, running away at the sight of bowls and spoons. Nothing works !


Ranting aside, I was recently asked by a (well meaning I am sure) lady if I were a "full time mom" or a "working mom". I understood what she meant, but was still offended by the question. What do you mean by asking if I were a "full time mom" or not ? Is there any other kind?

random

Every place has a palatte of its own. The shade and hue of the trees, earth, sky, grass and even the sunlight is distinct everywhere. So much so that just a glimpse is enough to reveal the place to the trained eye. And not just nature, even man made establishments are often colour coded. On a separate note, have you ever noticed how village folk are so fearlessly colourful - in the choices of their garb as well as walls.
Anyways, so this place here has one of the most exciting aquamarine palettes i have seen. Its a shame i am unable to soak up more while i am here.

My plans of doing something productive with my time have failed royally. I mean apart from taking care of bubs, i really dont do much all day. Not that it is easy though. Now that bubs wants to *walk* all the time, its literally back breaking job for us. Not complaining though, a smile, giggle or grin makes it all worth - many times over.

And yes, i did turn 30 last week. It felt a little stupid actually. I was waiting for some profound wisdom to grace me but nothing. Thankfully my search for any wrinkles on my face yielded zilch results as well :-) . Television and beauty magazines tell me i should start using anti aging products. But i dont really want to.

The "It" girls

I like to think that I have seen my fair share of the world. Been and seen plenty of places, situations etc etc. obviously these places, people and situations have taught me a lot. Well, one of these is the lesson that I will never be one of the "cool" girls - the hip and happening ones. This is not really news for me. But somehow it never fails to bother me.  I am almost thirty and a mother now, and yet the kindergarten memories just come back like yesterday when I wasn't invited to be a "gang member" because I was too dark. I have enough maturity now to know that I am better off being with real people but it seems I need more.

Anyways, so this was part one of my resolution to be a little more open, a little more vulnerable. God, it feels good. :)

On another note, phase 2 of ML is about to begin..yay.. I still have to pack, should start making list now.

The happy place

I see so many articles listing the "top ten happy places to live". Some are surprising (sweden? Really? Land of non existent sunshine??) and most are not..

But all the lists ignore the happiest place.. The place we all like to reminisce about.. Yeah, I am talking about "the past". Childhood in particular.

Human brain is amazing.

:)

As they say time does fly, or so it seems now. It's been more than 5 months and it seems like just yesterday. We call him Tanmay, one who is engrossed. I'll tell you what, he sure keeps us engrossed. All the time :)

Babies have incredible power over people. Let me ask you a question, a puzzle of sorts. There are some people standing at a bust and, waiting for the bus. There is an old man, a youngish businessman, a college going girl and a mother with a baby. Now the question is, who is the first one to start the conversation. And the answer is, the baby. Everybody wants to talk to the baby. Babies are conversation magnets.

It is true. I have made more friends/ acquaintances in the past few months than anytime before. :)

On becoming parents

No one is ever quite ready; everyone is always caught off guard. Parenthood chooses you. And you open your eyes, look at what you've got, say "Oh, my gosh".

- Marisa de los Santos

The best you can do is to conjure courage and develop a really really strong sense of humor. 

You will observe your lives go topsy turvy and wouldnt want to do anything about it. Basic comforts of life like a good nights sleep and showering will become luxuries(that will elude you for a long long time). You would (be forced to) become champions of multitasking. Stuff like poop, pee and spitup will stop grossing you out. So much so that if need arises you could leave your dinner in between, change a diaper, clean the baby, and resume your meal without batting an eyelid. Google will become your best friend (okay okay, strongly tied for best friend fine?) and will help you out of tough situations like "How to get my baby like the baby sling", "what is the correct way to put on a shirt on my baby", "how to get baby pee off my laptops keyboard". You would watch beautiful baby gear get wasted unused because your baby has outgrown them. You would only watch TV shows with sub titles because then you could put the tv on mute and still watch it. But dont get me wrong, you would truly and absolutely love each and every moment. 

A baby enriches your life in ways you couldn't have thought possible. You will finally be able to truly appreciate your parents (I wonder how my parents raised us with so little help). 

A baby will make you want to be a good human being. Even though it is a lot of work. And your priorities would change, maybe forever. 

The ultimate energizer

I have often said that K and I are complementary in a lot of ways. One of the more prominent ways is how we organize and clean. In a way that he organizes and I don’t. And then, I clean and he doesn’t. We have a good team J

In fact cleaning is the ultimate cathartic activity for me. Give me rags, brushes and cleaning products and I can happily spend hours with them.  It is such a mood lifting activity. The problem with it, however, is that people have very very weak memories. People notice filth, but not the lack of filth. That’s just normal. Nobody has the ability to juxtapose “before”/”after” pictures in their heads. So the results aren’t visible really.

Doesn’t matter so much, cleaning makes me happy. So here are some of my cleaning tips..

·         Lemon wedges clean most of the grime from counter tops, take smell off from old bottles and the microwave and when mixed with hot water, can clean oil containers like magic.

·         Fabric bleach cleans off any salt deposits from tiles

·         Mr. Muscle is better for preparing diluted solutions that you can use to clean counters every day, but for stubborn grime (like exhaust/ window sills etc.) cif is the only solution.

·         For cleaning marks off of doors (any painted surface), don’t scrub, it will damage the paint. Just use some nail paint remover and rub gently with cotton.

·         A wash with a weak solution of liquid utensil soap and baking soda will get rid of small mites from the house plants.

·         While dusting, use two rags. One completely dry synthetic one to attract the dust. And other cotton one to wipe off the surface with colin.

·         Use sellotape to pick up dust from hard to reach corners.

·         If your vacuum cleaner does not have a “blow” setting, you can use the hair dryer.

·         Water marks can be cleaned off of wooden surfaces by hair dryer. It doesn’t seem like coming off at first. But after about 10 minutes you’ll see the difference. Remember to wipe off with some light oil afterwards. But not too much.

Random

So, it has been really long and yada yada..

I "took care" of a pigeon the other day. "took care" not in the traditional sense or the lovely mobster sense.

Poor bird had somehow managed to enter our bathroom (maybe through the exhaust) and single-handedly (wingedly??) managed to wreck all of it. By the time it was discovered (when I reached home) i guess it had already spent all its precious birdie energy and was cowering over the geyser like an innocent lamb. Innocent or not, the bird sure was stupid. Trust me, I had to practically poke it with a broom to get out. "bird brain" is very very apt.

Anyways, now that the weather is getting better (finally!) the ambient happiness quotient has gone up significantly. Now we can begin with the great shopping marathon. Yay..

So time flies, some things change, most remain the same. We grow up, not realizing it a little bit. We struggle with some changes and we resist others. And we look forward to some. But most of the times we are really really clueless about the real meaning of any of this. In fact, the less we ponder over things, the more we truly enjoy them. But we think and we plan. And then we see that planning is a little futile. It just gives you some temporary peace of mind. So you replan. And attain some more temporary peace. Which gives us some temporary happiness. A succession of which turns into long term happiness. So we should keep on planning. Even knowing that its futile. Because not planning means giving up on life. And thats just stupid.

How to prepare for an accidental time travel in the past

Of course, the useful of all this depends on the time where (when ?) one ends up landing in.

Helpful skills:

• ·         Excellent physical fitness
• ·         Ability to run quickly, jump without hesitation and climb rocks and trees
• ·         Immunity good enough to survive without soap/ disinfectant
• ·         Basic knowledge of hand to hand combat
• ·         Enough common sense to build basic tools and weapons
• ·         Idea of what plants/roots/seeds/fruits are edible
• ·         Some basic skill that you can use for mingling in a community, like pottery, sewing, farming, accountancy etc. (providing that you encounter any human colonies at all)

There's a rainbow in my sky

And I love it...

Let me take this opportunity to officially welcome monsoon too ( I am a little late though. It has been raining since last week). But then who doesn't like a welcome, or welcome a welcome..

So anyways, the rains have succeeded in prettifying everything in sight, specially the trees.. oh oh and the sky too.

Hmm and now its time for random updates..

I have moved up in the corporate ladder.. Figuratively at least. :P I now work at the top most floor at my office.. And my new desk has a view to kill for. 


And I have had the privilege of crossing out another item from my "Must visit in this life" list. Yes, the valley of flowers.. It was everything I had imagined and more.. Oh so beautiful. *sigh*

Oh and another first.. I slipped and fell on a glacier.

arid versus sultry

If i had a choice, i would always, always choose sultry.

Now that that's settled, lets move on to more realistic topics.

This 6th of june is the last chance for us (and i mean all of us, unless they are planning to live forever) to see venus passing by the sun. Dont miss it.

Human beings like to be in contact. We are happy when we know everything about everybody. In my opinion the fourth ego state in addition to the Parent, Adult and Child, is the Stalker. Dormant in most, but very much there. (yeah go ahead, deny it. You know its true).

What is the optimum sanity level to keep one happy forever? When does sanity start bordering boring? How does one keep tab of it? Has there been a study seeking correlation between incredibly sane and extremely boring?

In praise of romantic idleness

As I have always maintained, I regard Gulzaar as one of the finest artists that God ever blessed us with. In addition to producing some timeless gems, he has also touched upon works of previous maestros and somehow made them more beautiful. Let us delve in two such examples:

Amir Khusro, is regarded as THE pioneer poet of khadi boli. Every kid, at least in the northern part of India, is familiar with his timeless riddle, “ek thaal moti se bhara…”. His series of “kyon sakhi saajan, nahi ____” riddles are a fine example of utilizing the internal syllabic rhythm of language to highlight the playfulness of the two protagonists in these riddles. But that is for another post.

It turns out that Khusro was much more than a Hindi (khadi boli) poet.  Behold an excerpt from one of his poems:

Zehal-e miskin makun taghaful, duraye naina banaye batiyan;

ki taab-e hijran nadaram ay jaan, na leho kaahe lagaye chhatiyan.

Source

This is a masterpiece in its own accord. Apart from the obvious beauty of rhyme, the true brilliance of this poem is that it has been composed in two different languages. The first half of each line is Persian, or Faarsi, while the second half has been composed in Braj bhasha.

Taking the initial phrase out this poem of Khusro’s, Gulzaar has created a different couplet, somehow preserving the original idea of interweaving two languages as well as the emotion of romantic anguish. Here it is:

zihaal-e-miskeen mukon ba-ranjish,

bahaal-e-hijra bechara dil hai

(A song from movie Ghulaami)

Now this is called inspiration. It’s like a true artist paying homage to another true artist. Legend saluting legend. Brilliant.

Let’s look at another such example. This ghazal composed by Ghalib is in praise of romantic idleness..

jee dhoondhtaa hai phir wohee fursat,

ke raat din baithe rahein tasavvur-e-jaanaa kiye huye

                                                           

Gulzar borrowed the ghazal, re-punctuated and changed the meaning a little and added some more lines beautifully illustrating his idea.

Dil dhoondta hai, phir wohi fursat ke raat din,

Baithe rahein tasavvur-e-jaanaa kiye huye…

Jaadon ki narm dhoop aur aangan mein let kar

Aankhon pe kheench kar tere daaman ke saaye ko

Aundhe pade rahe kabhi karwat liye hue…

Gulzar somehow made the verse more romantic, by singing about the times of enjoying the elation arising out of oblivion, being satisfied with the nothingness and cherishing every moment of it, being aware of your surroundings but not bothering to notice anything in particular…

(Disclaimer: I am no expert on ghazals or any form of poetry. I can barely recollect a couple of them. I am just a common admirer. And this is only admiration.)

In search of a starry night

I have very vivid memories of surreal summers spent in my quaint old village. We spend thousands of rupees now to recreate that same charm, to look at green fields which spread from your feet to the horizon, to get to eat some fresh fruit right from the tree, to breath in that pure air, to experience the silence, and the deep peace that creeps in inadvertently in such surroundings. But the one things i have been craving for quite some time now and haven't been able to get is that of being able to look at the stars. Now dont get me wrong, we have stars here. But its just not the same. In this bright city lights, many souls get lost, let alone these stars.
A starry night is the closest us normal mortals can get to experiencing the vast infinitude of the universe. Looking at the night sky, figuring out the stars from the elusive planets, trying to spot a shooting star or even a satellite slowly orbiting across the sky, waking up at the middle of the night to the delight to spotting the milky way and then staying awake just to look at the wonders above, is the most humbling and profound experience.
Makes one laugh at those skeptics who doubt the existence of God.

Over the years it has the single most toughest challenge for me to even try to comprehend the vastness of universe, the endless space, the nothingness and things beyond that. How come there are bodies which are not yet seen but have since ceased to exist and are certain to effect us in a distant distant future. What does one have to do to cultivate an understanding of such mind boggling theories.

Well, as i said, its humbling.

Surely monkeys will laugh at it

Solid statistics collected for over two decades, validate the observation that I must belong to the top 95 percentile of population when it comes to the ability to come up with good jokes. (And I figure somewhere in the 50 percentile range on the parameter of modesty)

Anyways, so the thing is, my jokes usually get at least three laughs on an average. That is the usual trend. However, my last joke was not very appreciated. In fact, Ksh proceeded to laugh at it, instead of laughing because of its high humor quotient. It was obvious that I feel offended. So the thing goes like this:

It has been said that given sufficient amount of time, an infinite number of monkeys on typewriters can reproduce the entire works of Shakespeare (Infinite Monkey Theorem). So the question is – this theorem is in violation of which law of physics?

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.

.

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The answer is – The second law of Thermodynamics.

Let me explain. A monkey on a typewriter punching random keys will produce garbage. Garbage has a tendency to remain garbage even if its constituents are reassembled. Hence, it has high randomness and thus high entropy. On the contrary, any piece of work by Shakespeare is very unique in its specifications. Any changes shall result in ruining the entire thing. So it has no randomness at all and thus very low entropy. Now, the second law implies that over time, systems tend to go from low entropy to high. Hence, the law kind of says that contrary to the infinite monkey theorem, given sufficient amount of time, a number of Shakespeare clones will produce large amounts of garbage. 

QED

things to do while waiting for cake

drool

citrus glow

My first ever trial in the art of candle making - the humble orange peel candle. Inspired from pinterest.

The steps are really simple.

Step 1: Find an orange.

Step 2: Cut it neatly along its diameter. Take out the pulp. It comes out really easily.

Step 3: Level out the bottom of one of the halves, so that it stands steadily. This would be your base.

Step 4: Hollow the roof of the other half. Save the disc that comes out.

Step 5: Make a small incision in the center of the disc. Push the wick through it so that it will hold. Place the disc in the center of the base half. Now the wick shall stay in place.

Step 6: Pour molten wax in the bottom half. Be careful.

Step 7: To add some extra zing, you may add tiny bits of orange peel in the wax.

Step 8: Wait for the wax to set. Have some orange juice :). And viola, your candle is ready.

Step 9 : Light the candle and place the roof on the bottom half.

Step 10: Enjoy a lovely aromatic evening.

Note: Alternatively, you could also just put one of those small candles inside a hollowed out oranges. But its just not so much fun.

Warning: People with an aversion to my weird sense of humour should stop reading after the beep. Beeeeeeeeeeeeep.....
An alternate name of this candle could be "the somewhat democratic orange" since it is "orange, in the orange, for the orange". (Ok fine, thats absurd. In my defense, i did give a warning.)

knocking down walls

Recently they broke a wall near the driveway at my office. As usual, the work took about two days. Imagine two days of having to drive through rubble and dust. And that too to work !! It was natural that I grumbled :|

The work got finished today. They replaced the wall with a pretty low fence kind of thing. And suddenly I was able to see a rose garden. It is sooooo beautiful. Especially at this time of the year. All this time, it was hidden behind that stupid white wall. 

Roses as big as my face. In every colour imaginable. 

Ha.. Finally an incentive to come to work everyday..

For a change, I could also marvel at another meaning of this episode. All these years I had been looking at that wall almost everyday. And never really wondered what was behind it. That stupid wall was not really significant for me in any way. It was a part of my everyday just by the virtue of being there.

And yet, it bothered me when they started breaking it. I got perturbed by the dust and rubble. Unable to imagine that this change could bring anything good.

And this is what keeps happening with us in life. We get attached to useless things just because they have been there for so long. We grumble when we to adjust to the slightest of discomfort brought about in the course of change. 

And more often than not, after all the rubble and dust has settled, we find a beautiful rose garden.

Thought of the day

Faith rewards beyond logic.

to beautiful happy days

yesterday, today and tomorrow

to beautiful and (possibly) drunk ants

to beautiful sunsets and pretty starry nights

 to cheerful cheer spreading birds

and life in general

post vacation lows

Are among the best kind of lows among all. A close second is finishing up on an awesome dinner. The sad thing about vacations is that they almost always come to an end. And leave you with this lost disoriented feeling.
One of the remedies that is actually effective for this is planning your next trip. And then waiting for it.

aaahh hmmmm

My dreams are pretty blurry in general. I always remember dreaming but rarely remember the dream.


But a couple of days ago, i woke up with distinct image of a creature with the body of a fish, some foliage on its torso (?) and a number of quick feet. It was scurrying around like a rat. And had a hard and pretty shiny shell like a snail. Somewhat like the picture i drew above.


And today after an inexcusable period of time, we finally got our marriage registered. yay..

End of year musings

are mostly blank.. Not a lull kind of blank though. More like peaceful blank. Moments of crazy broken by bouts of peace kind of blank. blanks which are not blank at all. And there I eat my own words. rather sentences. Only one. Just had breakfast. Eating is fun in winters. Its fun all the time. Not so much fun to eat all the time. The world would have been an immensely better place if we tasted what we talk about. If a person started to talk vile, they would immediately taste scum. If they talked sweet, they would taste milkmaid. I mean the kind that comes in a jar. And is legal. I love that.

pfffiiiishhhttt

“overwhelmed” The stupid word itself scares me. Even pronouncing it is difficult. I don’t like when my mouth makes the “whelm” sound. I don’t like it.

Now technically I don’t have anything to complain about. Things are as good as they can get. Bu sometimes, just sometimes, I realize I am having troubles getting myself together. Like I am running and not getting anywhere. Why am I doing what I am doing? Did I want this?

I guess all I wanted was for us to be able to sip some nice tea quietly while admiring the view from our balcony. Now the tea is not the problem. Tea is fine, there are a variety of teas to choose from. And I like all of them. Its just the “our balcony” part which has got us in this stupid vicious circle. On one hand, we take pride in the fact that we can do this. But then, it’s easy to plan. Planning does not stop us from doing anything. It’s only greed which makes it all so difficult. Greed of making this whole process of having to live like hermits a little shorter. Its like the diagram shown below:

However, the overwhelming is not the result of this stupid circus. I just need some time for myself. To sort myself out. Having to do absolutely nothing for a while. And no, an evening off or a weekend off will not do it. And I have no clue what will. 

state of my mind

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrgggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

and my face says nothing (i hope)

damn it..

An intern once congratulated me on my ability to remain calm under such stupid conditions. And frankly, i was flattered. ohh.. Naivety.. how cute.

the quote that made my day (kind of)

“We are all a little weird and life's a little weird, and when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall in mutual weirdness and call it love.” 

― Dr. Seuss

one of those rare soul touching, hair raising, amazingly humbling music.

thank you

?

Non - violence as an idea generally appeals to me. However, whenever I express this opinion, people generally ask - "aren't you a non -vegetarian ?".  To which I quickly answer, "i am not just a non -vegetarian, i am a happy non - vegetarian. " My idea is to prevent pointless violence. Food - is a point.

Anyways, my question to the people associate non violence with people's personal food choices is - do you guys kill spiders? What if you found one crawling in your bed? or above your dining table..  or in your baby's crib? What about mosquitoes? Do you own a can of Hit? What do you do? let them bite you? What is the difference between the life of a mosquito and that of a chicken? Would you eat a talking fruit that grew on a tree?

"A lot of people can be romantic. But it takes real lovers to be silly." Or something to the same effect. Read somewhere. Loved it. And agreed.

Speaking (Writing(typing)) in short sentences. feeling content.. and slightly sleepy. hubs is working. yes. still.. and its nearly midnight. on a sunday..! outrage. 

Had a really productive weekend. and productive weekends mean being able to clear the laundry load, cleaning, cooking, making up songs(with real words this time), rhyming better than last week, singing (still cacophonously(is that even a word?)) at the top of our lungs, remembering the work that i brought home on friday, finishing it in half an hour (botched up..yeah.. i know. but its still Sunday!!).. ahh .. bliss

and yes.. did i mention that K and I have a new Sunday ritual - Watching Doctor Who on BBC E with brunch..  You cant help but love the Doctor. Wonderful series. Reminds me of those 90' sci fi stuff, that i didnt exactly love back then. Plus its british. That is like an added bonus. In fact most of the stuff at BBC E is better than any American stuff.. 

And yes, October is here :) with its wonderful wonder smells of sweet nocturnal flowers, sweet gentle cool breezes, beautiful night sky (ever seen Venus so bright in any other month?) and just you know.. general octoberness..

:)

cheers