Seasons greetings

T made yet another attempt at growing tomatoes a couple of months ago. Obviously he planted the seeds and promptly forgot to tend to the saplings, a job that fell upon me :). 

So, a couple of strong looking saplings grew well and tall, grew flowers and then started an aphid farm on their person :p. All my attempts to get rid of the aphids were dud and i tried everything possible that does not involve pesticides, because of course I wanted organic tomatoes. So long story short, one day i had to get rid of the plants altogether. No tomatoes grew.

Now, last week I spotted a bunch of random tomato plants, growing on a heap of stones, with nobody to tend to them. And they have such nice strong tomatoes growing. I hate them now.

-----

Diwali went great. It was fun to burst some crackers after such a long time. V actually enjoyed them a lot. Next year we'll def do more :)

Playing catch up with words

A while ago I read this quote - "... I will love you as misfortune loves orphans, as fire loves innocence and as justice loves to sit and watch while everything goes wrong. I will love you as a battlefield loves young men ..."

The quote is from Lemony Snickets.. In its entirety it is perfectly suited to the dark themed kids book. but this particular excerpt, it sounds... vector. It perfectly describes the sheer intensity as well as the underlying sinister energy. See.. magnitude and direction. 

------

Poem recommendation - I Still Forget We’re Not Even Friends

------

"You are a language I am no longer fluent in but still remember how to read" - Ashe Vernon

Catching lines

I am currently in the reading room of the place we are staying at. I can see outside as the sun sets. I can see a hundred boats if not more. 

 

As the sun sets and darkness comes, the boats are turning their lights on one by one. By now they  resemble a hundred gems shimmering on the wavering carpet of the sea. 

I feel content reading this wonderful book in here. Savoring every minute of it.

Say Butter

I managed to finish "butter" a while ago. It was a difficult read in many ways. One - it had been quite a while since I had actually read something serious and hard hitting without any hint of humor. Second, the story itself is so wonderfully twisted. Its one of those book where characters are written realistically, not in a clean cut way with clear motives, wants and preferences. Her people are muddy, they get confused, they forget, they lie, hide things and occasionally admit their weaknesses to themselves and others, even when they don't want to. 

I loved the book. Also, I was wrong when i said the book was devoid of any humor. The humor lies in the title itself. 

So, what reminded me of Butter today is a scene where the protagonist(ish) accepts that she has no control over the perceptions of her friends about her other friends (does this sentence make sense?). And she gives up, she allows herself to be removed from the scene when she wants to. I am sure I felt a pang of jealousy when I read that. Even if I go away, I cannot stop worrying. 

Of trees and lemongrass

A quote I came across a while ago:

Sometimes, if you’re lucky, there will be a tree outside your bedroom window. It is very important to romanticize this tree as much as possible.

Oh dear God, how this quote resonated with me. The Ashoka tree outside my window was one of my closest friends in high school. I felt comfortable sharing my worries about the board exams with it. And I knew it understood because it bloomed right around the exams, like wishing me good luck. I miss that tree.

I am sure the trees outside my window now are undoubtedly also equally handsome and good looking. But I am not able to relate to them as readily as I could back then. The same is also true with people. It used to be so easy to make friends with people you saw everyday. Some of those friendships are even alive today. But now, it is becoming harder and harder to really open up to new people. Maybe I am getting old and set in my ways. Maybe the world is changing and everyone is becoming warier, less inclined to connect to real people. Maybe we are getting our need for human connections fulfilled somewhere else- digitally. So obviously, it is not going so well for humanity. 

------

The nest has been reused by another bird couple, they are a different species. I couldn't really identify it. But it is some kind of weaver bird. They took out blades of our lemongrass and tore bamboo leaves into thin string like pieces.. used them to weave a cave like dwelling. In the morning you can hear the hatchlings shouting.. :)

Parenting is a boiled egg

One thing that is becoming painstakingly clearer with every passing day is that as a parent, we have to let our kids make mistakes...at least some. I am picking my battles here.

Being a parent is hard. And mostly annoying as hell. I am dreading their teenage years :|

------

There are a couple of pieces I have been meaning to paint for the last few days. I have been putting off starting the project because it looks a bit tricky and I am scared to get it wrong. But then, my vangoghthelife sent me a simple canvas by him. Sure it has his tell-tale strokes, an interesting perspective, and well executed colour scheme... but it is not very technical and yet manages to look so appealing. Well, there must be some genius hidden in it because managed to make me want to pick up the brushes.. I hope this "want" turns into a "done".

------

P.S. We have a red vented bulbul nesting in our aparajita vine.

Wishing for -what- will make this better?

There are some emotions you don't readily share with the public. Actually, these are hidden away in some obscure recess of your own psyche, just to emerge when something truly despicable happens. 

Like it happened 3 days ago. An act of cowardice and sheer evil. First reaction (as spectators from far) is anger, then helplessness... followed by hatred. It is such an ugly emotion, and I hope nobody ever has to feel so. 

It reduces a sane human being to a diabolical creature. 

And I feel that in times like these, it is justified. 

--------------

I need a "publish privately" feature on this blog. Maybe that will make me able to rant clearly.