home.. alone

I understand what "mixed feelings" mean when I think about home..
Home was where we came home from school/college and no matter what happened during the day/month/year, all the worries flew away.. Mom-papa took care of everything.. we were safe.. from everything..
then we grew up.. left home. parents moved away.. and there is this house we once knew as home. the place where I can find my way in pitch darkness, where my hands and feet have memories of their own..
the patio where i sat on winter afternoons and rote learned multiplication tables(I must have paid more attention to the gajar ka halwa because i still get the multiplication tables wrong :P), my study room where i graduated to calculus and loved it..
the backyard which was full of loose earth where we played in mud in smeltering afternoons and made mud toys
the balcony from where we threw our paper planes
where I learnt to ride a bicyle, drive a motored two wheeler and eventually a car..
where i outgrew pinafores and frocks and umbrella ponytails

that.. was home..