Eight years

It seems like we were kids just yesterday.
Yes, we were kids together.
Now we have kids together.
And yesterday seems so far away.

I know its tomorrow that matters more
So this is for many more joyful tomorrows

normal life is an oxymoron

The act of living, by its very definition, is to navigate the numerous turns and bends, take frequent snack breaks and occasional naps and to arrive at a destination which is the least important part of the journey.

The adventure being that one can never be sure that they are about to reach the destination until they do (and sometimes not even then :O)

Its the journey that matters. A journey which should not be made in a hurry at all. Why would one want to arrive before their time? 

So take time and smell the roses. Enjoy the bumps and the occasional potholes. 

Refuse to be carried by others, walk by yourself. Decide your own course, find a good partner whose company you would enjoy on this road. And above all, enjoy the journey.

On walking

The reason I don’t post much these days is that because out of my old habit of keeping a journal, I love writing about the day at the end of the day. Writing for me is a kind of reminiscing about the day. In a way, it is a form of time travel back to the day past where I cant change anything. But yes, it helps me make meaning out of the happenings. It’s like living the day again, enjoying the conversations one more time. Only this time in my head.

But now the definition of my “day” stretches itself to the end of socially acceptable waking hours and occasionally spills beyond midnight. By that time I am too exhausted/ zombified to walk to the bed, let alone turn on the laptop and write something. (yeah I don’t like writing on ipad or my phone. Both devices very easy to waste time on but very difficult to get anything productive done)

Anyways, so most of my reminiscing now happens during the “walk”. The half hour window I have been sanctioned after we are done with everybody’s dinner. K graciously stays home with the kids while I don up my walking shoes, gear up with some music and go for a stroll. That is the part of my day when it is ok for me to not be attentive about the surroundings (not many cars on road at night and the colony is pretty safe) and daydream.

So now my blogging /journaling/ walking has all merged into one. Its just not recorded anymore.

Throwback thursday

Let the rain come down 
   and wash away my fears
let it fill my soul 
   and drown my fears
let it shatter the walls 
   for a new Sun
A new day has come

 - Aldo Nova and Stephen Moccio, from Celine Dion's song - A new day has come

Music to the rescue

"Summer is here."

The Game of Thorns is full on in Gurgaon this year. Gusts of dust (alliteration much ??) greet us as soon as we step outside.

Anyways, so today while driving back to work I was kind of aware of the heat outside. But then this song came on radio - "Rim jhim gire sawan..."

Lovely song. And it reminded that the heat is here for a reason. It paves the way for monsoon. And then I didnt feel the heat anymore.

The country of the pointed firs

I firmly believe that one should travel as far and wide as possible, see and experience different cultures, people, enjoy their food, walk their streets, view their views, feel their weather, climb their hills. And it might just make one more grounded and broad minded. 

Now although I love to travel, lately our sojourns have become more of a luxury snooty(!!) vacation kind. We hardly meet up and interact with the locals. Kids are kept away from heat and dust and any kind of discomfort. Phew.. a few more years till they are grown up enough.

Till then, I plan to travel by the way of books. Reading always brings me joy. Now and then I pick up a book which is so delicious (for lack of a better word) that I want to gobble it all up in one go. And then ask for a second serving. 

But sometimes, I come across the rare gems which are to be savored slowly. Each bite enjoyable on its own. Pausing between pages, living it. One such gem is The country of the Pointed Firs. The book effortlessly took me to the quaint coastal village. Such beautiful character defining that I felt I have known them for ages. The book feels like a lazy summer afternoon after having beautiful lunch. Not much happening, nothing important to do. Just being content with the present.

I highly recommend this book to anyone who feels the need to slow down a bit. I know I am going to go back to it again and again. Just to induce some calmness. And to learn to pause.

Rant 2 of the day

A couple of hours and two bars of dark chocolate later my mood has perked up somewhat.
Well this and Ksh. Its amazing what a big difference words can make. Just loving and supportive words.
Gosh :)
-----------------------------------
Little Tanmay is about to start proper school on Monday. It is both exciting and scary. For me I mean. Tanmay is all happy to go to "the school with the big playground". Its me who is jittery. I wonder if we ever stop being scared for our kids.
-----------------------------------
I am going to be better. Become more knowledgeable and improve my skills. I just have to figure out where and in which field I want to excel. hmmm... Does a skill which doesnt really pay, count?

Damn

There are days when the smallest tiniest troubles make me question my life choices.
Today is one of those wretched days.

And no, nothing is wrong per se. But if I think about it, so much is. What am I doing with my life? What use is all the money if the one thing my kids need is me?

Damn

What if stories

The other day i just got thinking how different would all my favorite fiction stories would be if they are forced to incorporate basic technologies in their stories. No secret would remain unearthed for a decade, no person would be able to vanish "without a trace", people would not be forced to travel across geographies to meet/contact their long lost loves and relations. Even the magical world of Harry Potter ( !! ) would lose some if its charm if Voldemort had a nuclear bomb. 

I guess it is difficult to write and compose a stories set in the modern world. Is that why so many of the fiction we see now is based on emotions and relationships ? 

I feel too lazy to do this

The trouble with procrastination is that it reduces your output tremendously. Especially people like me with crap memories. I remember having a wonderful idea to blog about. That’s all I remember, I don’t remember the actual idea, just that it was good. Gosh I sound like a certain world leader. Crappier than my memory. Eww.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I am trying to read better. So far I have managed to do at least one serious article everyday. I am also trying to watch better. Lets see how that goes.

Remembering worldspace

I usually listen to the radio while driving.
I like the "wait" part in radio. You never know if a good song is coming next. But you still wait for it and endure the mindless advertisements just to get to a good song. I enjoy that.

So today morning this song reminded me of worldspace. I dont know if people still know what it was. It was awesome. Great. And the brief period while I was able to enjoy it was so lovely.

Sons and Noses

Wonderful sunshiny days. Perfect picnic weather. And we are trying to make the most of it.

Now that Vedu has started walking, I have developed two mental radars. Both kids have to be tracked ALL THE TIME. They have an uncanny knack for getting into trouble. Little Vedu hasnt started talking yet, but he has perfected a way to mock me when I shout "No, dont do that."

It's hilarious actually.
-----------------------------------------
My resolve to get more disciplined has worked a bit. I have started logging (Journal) and slogging (workout)
-----------------------------------------

I need some new music. Like good music. I dont have the patience to listen to VH1 for hours anymore. I am yet to start on soundcloud (sorry :| )
-----------------------------------------
Both kids are down with the flu. Hence the title :(

Buy less, buy better

Lately I have been getting enticed by the idea of minimalism. Its not a new concept, not a fad, not something I am going to give up on. I have felt the necessity to reduce for a long time now.

What really triggered this need to change was that I dont feel in touch with myself anymore. Many years ago in MDI I first read that book - The Secret. And I remember thinking - whats the secret. That has always happened with me before, I can make things happen by thinking and wishing. I could literally do that.
But not anymore. And I know that it is because there is too much clutter everywhere. Around me, inside me.
And I am going to change that.

And hence the title.

There will be fries

I am thankful to God for all we have. For watching over us and our loved ones. I am, I truly am.

I have two plants on my desk. Hydroponics both of them. The older one has been with me since 5 years i guess. I love you guys. Keep growing and stay green. Make oxygen and stay happy.

So we are having a party of sorts at home tomorrow. A kids friendly party. Hence the title.

I know I am a little old for this now, but I really love my new shoes. :) Complete with pink bows. Never too old for a little "cute" in life right. Gotta keep it up. The onus of having pink and fluffy stuff in a house full of boys is on me.

Chipping tales

I usually credit myself with above average intelligence ( yeah.. and not so much modesty)
Anyways,, it seems I should review my rankings.

So yesterday, I was feeling peckish (even after gobbling down two eggs btw) in the evening so naturally I gravitated towards the only bag of chips left. Now since I am trying to eat healthier, I was very much aware that I should instead pick up the sad looking apple instead. This tremendous inner conflict must have had an effect.

As a result I gobbled down the chips at a record speed lest I change my mind and reach for the apple instead.

So much for the intelligence :|

Being nice is always rewarding

You know there are people who are always making lists. Not only super important difficult to remember stuff, just ordinary everyday things. And then they annoy you by listing the merits of making lists. 

I have turned into one of those people. So list making - love it :)

Striking things off the list - absolutely 

------------------------

Cannot stop worrying about my plants. Who will water them while we are gone? (wow! alliteration) 

------------------------

Obsessed about painting cherry blossoms in water color. So satisfying. And difficult to get it wrong. Looks pretty anyways.

------------------------

Painted walls. Another thing checked from my (slightly longish) ToDo list.

------------------------

want to learn something new. Cant decide on what. Or how. Or when. But I want to.

------------------------

Have to get back in shape. Need to get more discipline in life.

------------------------

Another year almost gone.

------------------------

Yes I know the title has nothing to do with this post. Its just another truth.

Whoa

Answering to kids questions can be hard. For example, “Mumma, why is the sky blue?” is a pretty difficult question to answer. However, thanks to pollution, it is pretty easy to answer why the sky is grey. K

These days our lives are dictated by two little tyrants. Well not tyrants really, since we actually truly enjoy being dictated. If you ask me, time is passing a little too fast. Little V is already about to turn 10 months old. 

And it has already been about one whole year since I last blogged :O 

A good day

I have spent the past few months (ever since Diwali actually) hating the weather and the pollution. It has turned me a little bitter towards Gurgaon overall. But yesterday, oh yesterday the weather redeemed itself (lol).

Beautiful skies, sun, clear crisp early winter air. A perfect day for picnic. Tanmay was so happy with the “picmic”. Its really cute watching him learn to talk. He isn’t the most talkative toddler but kind of makes it up with his cuteness. Inadvertently all of us have started speaking like him.

And although my resolve to turn into some kind of cooking goddess hasn’t really materialized in the way I wanted, I have improved quite a bit. Managed to make pickles, yay !! The old me would have posted pictures but I am just too lazy to do so. So believe me when I say I did it.

I know things are about to change soon. For all of us. I cant imagine how the chemistry will be. But I pray to God that things go well.

Amen.

Proud Parent Moments

Kids make us proud everyday. Everything they do is special. And its wonderful watching them grow curious and ready to explore everything (everything!!) they see.

But sometimes, some things they do or say are striking.

The other day, I had an appointment and went to my doctor, who happens to be a very amiable lady :). We generally take him along and put him in the play area while I go for the consultation. But since it was exceptionally sunny, we decided to take him along inside with us. First of all he inquired - "Hospital ? Injection?" After assuring that no injections would be administered to anyone, he calmed down and happily played in the waiting area. But the moment we went inside the consultation room, oh dear God! The moment he saw her, he just started chanting "Doctor na, doctor na..." . Poor Ksh had to take him outside lol..

I didnt really think a lot about it then. But later on I reflected that he had never seen any doctor other than his own pediatrician (a male) and the doctor in nursery rhymes (from five little monkeys). So he had never really seen a woman doctor before. He just deduced that the person sitting behind the table in a hospital has to be a doctor, regardless of the gender.

Looks like kids dont abide by gender stereotypes  :)

Toddler tales

Before I had my son, i kind of used to judge people who let their kids scribble on the walls.
I feel really really sorry now.
Kids have that effect, they humble you. Tremendously.

My child does a lot of stuff I never thought would happen under my roof.
He eats only with the television on, refuses to poop without a diaper (! really !), scribbles on the walls, even throws an occasional tantrum or two. Of yes, and he also believes in is a staunch supporter of the nudist movement. Doesnt wear pants at home at all (diapers only when he wants to poop). Thank God he wears one at playschool. However, he compensates that by taking off his shirt as well as soon as he is home.
Before I had him, I had never imagined my home would look like a storehouse (child proof storehouse). It is now really spartan with the bare minimum of furniture left. The show cases which held my precious book collection and cherished knick knacks have now been boarded up (he climbs on them). The lower kitchen shelves have been evacuated and the counter rims are oiled (climbs there as well). Our bedroom has a 12 feet wide bed ! The only concerns we have anymore are safety and hygiene.

But yes, I know that one day, when the kids are all grown up, the walls will be clean, sofas wonts be spilled upon or jumped upon, our plants would survive without being routinely uprooted.

And I will miss these days.