aaahh hmmmm

My dreams are pretty blurry in general. I always remember dreaming but rarely remember the dream.


But a couple of days ago, i woke up with distinct image of a creature with the body of a fish, some foliage on its torso (?) and a number of quick feet. It was scurrying around like a rat. And had a hard and pretty shiny shell like a snail. Somewhat like the picture i drew above.


And today after an inexcusable period of time, we finally got our marriage registered. yay..

End of year musings

are mostly blank.. Not a lull kind of blank though. More like peaceful blank. Moments of crazy broken by bouts of peace kind of blank. blanks which are not blank at all. And there I eat my own words. rather sentences. Only one. Just had breakfast. Eating is fun in winters. Its fun all the time. Not so much fun to eat all the time. The world would have been an immensely better place if we tasted what we talk about. If a person started to talk vile, they would immediately taste scum. If they talked sweet, they would taste milkmaid. I mean the kind that comes in a jar. And is legal. I love that.

pfffiiiishhhttt

“overwhelmed” The stupid word itself scares me. Even pronouncing it is difficult. I don’t like when my mouth makes the “whelm” sound. I don’t like it.

Now technically I don’t have anything to complain about. Things are as good as they can get. Bu sometimes, just sometimes, I realize I am having troubles getting myself together. Like I am running and not getting anywhere. Why am I doing what I am doing? Did I want this?

I guess all I wanted was for us to be able to sip some nice tea quietly while admiring the view from our balcony. Now the tea is not the problem. Tea is fine, there are a variety of teas to choose from. And I like all of them. Its just the “our balcony” part which has got us in this stupid vicious circle. On one hand, we take pride in the fact that we can do this. But then, it’s easy to plan. Planning does not stop us from doing anything. It’s only greed which makes it all so difficult. Greed of making this whole process of having to live like hermits a little shorter. Its like the diagram shown below:

However, the overwhelming is not the result of this stupid circus. I just need some time for myself. To sort myself out. Having to do absolutely nothing for a while. And no, an evening off or a weekend off will not do it. And I have no clue what will. 

state of my mind

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrgggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

and my face says nothing (i hope)

damn it..

An intern once congratulated me on my ability to remain calm under such stupid conditions. And frankly, i was flattered. ohh.. Naivety.. how cute.

the quote that made my day (kind of)

“We are all a little weird and life's a little weird, and when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall in mutual weirdness and call it love.” 

― Dr. Seuss

one of those rare soul touching, hair raising, amazingly humbling music.

thank you

?

Non - violence as an idea generally appeals to me. However, whenever I express this opinion, people generally ask - "aren't you a non -vegetarian ?".  To which I quickly answer, "i am not just a non -vegetarian, i am a happy non - vegetarian. " My idea is to prevent pointless violence. Food - is a point.

Anyways, my question to the people associate non violence with people's personal food choices is - do you guys kill spiders? What if you found one crawling in your bed? or above your dining table..  or in your baby's crib? What about mosquitoes? Do you own a can of Hit? What do you do? let them bite you? What is the difference between the life of a mosquito and that of a chicken? Would you eat a talking fruit that grew on a tree?

"A lot of people can be romantic. But it takes real lovers to be silly." Or something to the same effect. Read somewhere. Loved it. And agreed.

Speaking (Writing(typing)) in short sentences. feeling content.. and slightly sleepy. hubs is working. yes. still.. and its nearly midnight. on a sunday..! outrage. 

Had a really productive weekend. and productive weekends mean being able to clear the laundry load, cleaning, cooking, making up songs(with real words this time), rhyming better than last week, singing (still cacophonously(is that even a word?)) at the top of our lungs, remembering the work that i brought home on friday, finishing it in half an hour (botched up..yeah.. i know. but its still Sunday!!).. ahh .. bliss

and yes.. did i mention that K and I have a new Sunday ritual - Watching Doctor Who on BBC E with brunch..  You cant help but love the Doctor. Wonderful series. Reminds me of those 90' sci fi stuff, that i didnt exactly love back then. Plus its british. That is like an added bonus. In fact most of the stuff at BBC E is better than any American stuff.. 

And yes, October is here :) with its wonderful wonder smells of sweet nocturnal flowers, sweet gentle cool breezes, beautiful night sky (ever seen Venus so bright in any other month?) and just you know.. general octoberness..

:)

cheers

Every now and then, one comes across an idea so utterly absurd, that is is brilliantly profound. And I truly believe that one cannot exist without the other.

it took me 27 years (and few.. ok more than a few months). but i may have figured out what bliss is (yeah right)..

bliss is knowing what you really want, wanting what you really need, having enough courage to try and having somebody to love you no matter what.

its clarity.. bliss is having clarity in life.

Wonder how dreams work

The other day(night), I dreamt in animation.
there were three robots and they could assemble together to become a robot boat..

a while ago, i dreamt of a whale in a water bed. and the bed had one of those flowy canopies.. i think it wasnt a bed.. maybe it was a big pool with curtains.. i tried but couldnt draw the thing..

Run like

Its a joy to discover new things (at this age .. i might just add) that you love doing. And to discover things that you love doing together.. well that's pure bliss..

K and I discovered our love of running (no... not away from each other :P). And we just took our first step yesterday.. the 5k :D :D

I know its not a big thing... but it is a good feeling.. And not just that of participating and completing the run.. But that of finding out you could have done more easily..Of setting new targets and achieving them..

:D

Random

They say our memories are like pieces of puzzles. You remember your house and you remember the turn. And that is how you remember how to get to your house.
But that is not the point I wanted to make.

For me a good movie is sometimes about the songs. And just the songs. For e.g. take Dil Se. Personally I dont care about the story. The characters seem to be all confused and unreal. But the songs.. Oh the songs.. Spectacular. Each and every one of them. The combination of Gulzar and Rahman had never been so good. And as an added bonus, they are a treat to watch. And that is why everytime the movie is on, I watch it. Wincing through the movie(prose??) and savoring every moment of the songs (poetry ??)..
Unlike Gladiator.. Movie great.. music divine.. I get goosebomps everytime i listen to the piece.
Every single time..

true

After all..there is sunshine..

The weekend began poorly. Friday was a complete mess.. But it passed.. And I somehow survived.. As I will in future.. :) anyways..
Saturday was a day of surprises.. Went kite flying which is always great fun. K even managed to (whats the word in english??) "kaato" a kite..  :) And I well I somehow stirred up a giant bee hive.. really good fun..
and we found out a great place that serves authentic (as far as we could tell) Chettinad cuisine.. real nice..

Sunday.. as i always try to make it.. was a day of self indulging.. which for me is cleaning and cooking. i find both these activities amazingly cathartic. K obviously cant understand the latter, but quite enjoys the outcome of former.. At least he claims he does.. which pretty much works for me :P

Spent the evening walking around in a park, clicking pictures and spotting birds. and trying to listen to them.. amazing..

And.. our training is going well.. I am not as disciplined as K yet.. But I will catch up.. :) only weeks left..

This post is more like a diary entry.. then maybe it is..

The last one..

And so I saw the movie.. After waiting patiently for about an year,when finally I was about to get my wish, I almost wished I didnt. Because watching the last installment marked the end of an era. I wished I could delay this as long as possible. Somehow it would mean I could have something to look forward to. Anyways, I watched the movie. And instantly thanked God for doing so. Because the movie is just like the other ones. It kind of dabbles through the entire book. Browses through the important portions and barely touches some vital ones. An out and out irritating entity for those who are truly in love with the magical world. But i daresay it would be a treat for the shallow fanatics who think one can read all the books in a month's time and know everything. Ha.

To even be able to get a glimpse of what it is really is like, one has to grow with the books. I remember the sweet sour experience of waiting for the next book. The joy of reading it and then the realizations one had through the numerous re-readings. Thank you J.K. Rowling, for giving us a magical childhood. Thank you.

There are so many things going wrong all around us. All one can hope for is the opportunity to lead a normal life and a possibility for this to come true.

On the contrary, I find the flicker of hope that i had, diminishing day by day. I see people getting so short sighted, they fail to see their purpose in life. I have seldom been so frustrated and angry. And I am scared of this growing bitterness.

I just want some land, sky and trees. And that people understand and appreciate the beauty around them. And learn the importance of hard work, moderation in consumption, sharing and deriving joy out of it. Please.

This is not the world God wants us to live in. I am sure.

Early Morning Jam Sessions

Not the fun ones.. I am talking about the traffic kind.. Remarkably boring and instantly irritating..

Anyways, nothing that a good mug of coffee cant cure.. :)

I am experimenting a lot with food these days. While cooking, I constantly plan to click a photo of the finished product. However, when one is as impatient as I am, even the well thought of plans end up having minimal credibility. So, I can only name the ones that ended up well.. Kung Pao Chicken (pat on the back.. yes), fish with mustard based curry, fish with tomato based curry ( a boon for weight watchers.. this one..), pasta farfalle with red sauce (slightly Indianised by using more chilly and herbs) and... ok thats it.

Tubby

I have never been into those virtual reality simulation games. Never understood how people could get so serious about things that were ..nothing actually.

Until I got tubby.

Tubby is my new hamster. I get to see him about 10 times a day. I can give him food and watch him eat it, which is an incredibly amusing experience. Now, tubby is extraordinary. He spends his time running on his little wheel, watching the surroundings and well.. wiping his face. He wipes his face a lot. I dont know why. And he is also just a piece of code.

I like tubby.

Not everybody who understands and appreciates art can be an artist.

Which is why my blog posts suck.

My love of libraries

There is something in a library that i simply cant resist.

I find it so peaceful to be in midst of columns of books. The smell of old yellowing paper. The shine of new ones and the sharp rustling sound they make.

I even have favorites. Like the IRS one I used to frequent as a kid. And some I hate - like the one at my alma mater - MNIT. That one was designed to discourage readers and reading alike. So boxy.

In contrast, the one at MDI was great. Equipped with wonderful books and more importantly inviting spaces, it was a boon. That was love at first sight. Truly.

However, I feel the most nostalgic about the "book clubs" we used to form during the summer vacations. The neighborhood kids used to pitch in their precious comic books together. Its amazing to think that as 10 year olds we knew the importance of sharing. A skill that most grown ups lack.

Of all the motivation crap that i have heard, the most effective (and quick) thing to do is to clean your office desk.

works like a charm every time :)

Matters of consequence (during the past month)

- tried my hand at the potter's wheel and discovered confirmed my belief that I am a natural at it. :)

- tried the peking duck and jellyfish. Separately. In that order. One of my most memorable food experiences ever. The peking duck had the most unique texture ever (what do u call something thats sbdfkbskdghksdg) and the jelly fish, well lets just say it took a swim in vinegar.

These days I am all for being a good girl :)

I wake up early (7:30ish..)

Have tea in the morning

and thats pretty much it..

(yeah.. new blog posts are not on my good girl list)

I havnt had a drop of coffee since the last 7 days.

Which proves that I am not addicted.

Another one

Made this one from scratch a few weeks ago

its my coffee carrier

:)

StuMis

All my life, (well till today) I have been believing that the word "HOBO" stood for "HOmeless BOhemian" and "SOHO" for "Sophisticated HObo".

I really really dont know why.

O_o

:)

just watched the full version of "Baje Sargam".

the tabla, flute, sitar.. aah

speechless

friday rants

The other day, I was going through some old college assignments of mine.

One of them was a paper on the topic " what profession would I want to have, if not this".

And I had written that I could have been a nursery school teacher or an "Art director".

Thats total crap. What exactly is an "art director" by the way.

Now, that I have grown up (!) I know what I would have aced at. And loved.

I could have been a carpenter.

I know I can make lovely furniture. Yeah. Definitely a carpenter.

I would make pretty little pieces. And I would get to work with wood. And power tools. I love power tools. In fact I love going to the hardware store almost as much I love a good restaurant.

So, I would make good pieces and be happy. As far as making money is concerned, I would occasionally make stupid fancy stuff and put exorbitant price tags on them. And stupid rich people will pay for them because they will be beautiful but uncomfortable pieces of furniture.

And I will put colors in all my furniture. And all first time buyers will get a free trampoline.

This should be good enough for today.

Dreamt of walking in a stream

it was wavy

and very high

the water felt smooth

Rare: A dress you see in a window and instantly love it

Rarer: The dress actually fits you

Still rarer: The price fits your pocket

Rarest: Good parking space

I think you got my point.

what?

disorientation ? define does how one

if its specially due loaded work with extremely being to

now me is that

scary real

ouch

:)

one of the ...

... privileges of a five day work week

trying my hands at photography

while the banana cake (new recipe :)) is in the oven

while listening to wonderful music

thanking the alimighty for giving us Gulzar

and Zucchero (in that order)

and chocolate

and tastebuds

:)

(following shortly - some pics of a flawless (hopefully) banana cake)

bugs n roses

What I want to become as I grow older

eater of good food

drinker of great drinks

receiver of endless love

giver of even more

jumper of good jumps

visitor of good places

meeter(!) of good people

wiser with more wisdom

crazy with sound reason

talker of good talks

listener of better ones

and finally

writer of good posts

reader of better ones

Driving in NCR makes me want to believe in reincarnation.. really.

I really wish that all those people who overtake me from the wrong side come back as toilet seats.

:)

Fried rice is the ultimate when it come to comfort food.

(well there is chocolate but it is too much like an elixir to be counted as food)

Easy to make, easy to eat, easy to look at :D :D

what a perfect way to begin the weekend.

After wednusday, its all uphill :)

One can almost see and feel the approaching weekend.

127 Hours

I sometimes do not understand why some movies get popular. 127 hours is one of them.
Hated it.

I love putting photographs on the walls.

But since we live in a rented apartment, I am not really confortable putting nails on the walls.

As a result, I was forever in search of a solution to this problem.

And I found it - paper frames :) which you can glue to the walls.

They come of really easily and dont leave marks.

Plus they are very easy to make.

And add a really nice touch of being handmade.

happy with the result.

DIY String Thingy

:) really satisfied with the attempt.
and 100% sure that I will improve it next time.

Love the color. K's choice :)

Can I rant enough about the magics of morning sunlight...

Its wonderful.
Happyfying

New Crush

Hugh Dancy..

Its not really a surprise he's british.

Happy Uttrayan

I really miss being home on Uttrayan.

The kites, music, food and people.

Light and lines

Have you guys ever wondred why all the continents have approximately symmetric edges..

and how they coincide with the angle of the sunlight line (or day line or whatever the scientific term is..) at the time of what is roughly the winter solstice.


(Sunlight pic via: world sunlight map)



And by the way, today is such a brilliant sun shiny day. I just cant stop feeling elated and grinning like an idiot.

Excuse me?

The other day I came across an advertisment on television for a brand of "alternative clothing"..
yeah, alternative clothing.

now, what is that? clothing is clothing. its either on or off.

what do these people sell?

:)

When you're happy and you know it

it shows

:)